Don't feel really depressed, have had a bad couple of days. I figured out how to summarize how I am feeling now. I feel like I am finished. Finished living. Don't worry, not the suicidal kind of finished, I just don't want to do anything, like no desire. Feels like I am just biding my time until it is my time. I have some enjoyment along the way, but don't "look forward" to anything. When my depression was worse, I would think of death alot, not killing myself, but what if I were to die, or someone else. Not really having those thoughts so much now, I just am. Blah! I want to engage in life, to live it. I have lots of time left unless the Good Lord decides to take me at a young age. My son is only 9, there are lots of things I should want to do with him. I feel bad for not doing more with him. For being a bad example of "doing nothing". I turn down lots of offers just cause I don't want to. Even church has become a "have to" thing.
My psych. resigned, so I have to see another one in the practice. Don't know whether to convey these feelings to him or just go with it since I am better than I was. This is tolerable, the other was not. Should I expect normality from the meds or just not the deep lows?
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